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Pre-School Bloke
author: Whitley Bear
category: Children
Dedicated to: JWP (aged 4)
who means more to me than he will ever know
He wears his custard in his hair,
He spreads it to his Teddy bear
And dressing gown, which is his Jedi cloak.
Has to fight the baddie now,
Wants to show his daddy how.
My little boy's become a pre-school bloke.
Always wants the telly on,
Goes to bed with wellies on,
A pirate ship, some marbles and a fort.
Scooby-doo, Winnie Pooh,
Roly Poly Olie too,
Will keep him quiet as a last resort.
You have to push his bedroom door
Hard to even see his floor,
Buried under fifteen thousand toys:
Gruffalo and Thomas books,
Regiments of cars and trucks,
A drum to demonstrate the joys of noise.
Now he's got his own guitar,
Too old for his big red car,
The living room's a perfect cycle path.
Up the wooden hill he'll climb,
Finds the energy and time,
For splashing, fighting, pooping in the bath.
A small boy asks be his friend,
Not calculated to offend,
My only son says "no" and walks away.
Pre-school tries to educate,
But you-know-who won't concentrate,
He much prefers to play with toys all day.
He smiles at everyone who calls.
Draws in pen upon the walls,
You tell him off, he finds it all a joke.
He finks it's vis and vat and vere,
Correct him but he doesn't care,
My little boy's become a pre-school bloke.
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